Feb. 14th…

Thoughts about Glory and the subtle changes to take a language from what it was and make it what I want… of course that doesn’t help in the communication with the rest of the world. I was told once that someone studies what you don’t understand. I think that I am looking for a language that I don’t know how to speak. I will know it when I hear it, but I haven’t found it yet.Must deal with the dog… 


I will say that I haven’t read any of your other posts, so this may have already been covered, but it seems that your inference of ‘Theists’ has a very evangelical Christian bent to it. Where I can see a fairly valid stereotype of behavior in your description, I would like to remind you that there are those of us out there who have a belief in a Larger Than Us/Energy/Deity/Spirit who do not fit this discussion.

In my humble opinion, it’s all a mythology. It’s all made up. Christianity, Daoism, language, writing, Hinduism, wearing clothes are all made up. Someone somewhere started the thought and it snowballed from there. Jesus is not the only hero in a story about a man born of a virgin and killed for his words. Muhammad was not the only story about someone talking to an angel. Aphrodite was not the only story about someone being born out of the sea.

If you are speaking about proof of these stories and a definition of what is proof of a Higher Power’s existence, it would be as relevant as a conversation about if Zeus’ infidelity to his wife was an endorsement of open relationships. If one does not believe in the premise of the religion, it has no merit. To argue that any sane person would know that the music of a Snaffilinger is completely different than the music of a Hussepollifger is just as rational as arguing the ‘truth’ of christianity or any other religion. Humans just don’t know, we can only guess.

If the ultimate truth of an idea is shown by how many people have died for it, then I believe that Dirt is the ultimate truth… more people have died for the belief of any particular piece of dirt belonged to them and not whoever claimed it before than any other idea.

Again, in my humble opinion, it’s time to stop telling others that they are wrong and start to find out what works for us personally. It’s my opinion that there is enough Universe to go around.

Brightest Blessings!

I met a past classmate of mine the other day and spoke with him about life and the past year. He mentioned an arabic saying and spoke the a form of the Arabic language and I found myself drawn in to the rolling sounds… and then I realized that I missed hearing it. The language is much more like a stream tumbling over rocks where the Germanic based languages (including English) have a sound patterns sprinkled with cliffs and fjords.

    I miss Timothy. He is still the reason why I would like to go somewhere else for my Graduate Program. He showed a different kind of education than I got from most of the rest of the faculty at UO. There were some exceptions… and I am an active participant in my classes. I got the best education I could squeeze out of that place. And I intend on taking advantage of being on campus to the fullest extent.  My next goal is to write a journal article. LOL… but I have been saying that for a year now. I think I need to start by re-reading the other journal articles about Marguerite. It will be fun…:-)  

As a firm believer in the golden rule, I try to have high standards about how I treat my animals. It forces me to reflect on my compassion for other creatures which helps make it more instinctual.

I also am contemplating bringing another cat into my world. My girl, Tasha, has been gone for 7 months now… and my boy, Sherlock, is bored and needs another in the house. And it’s time. But it’s a huge responsibility for the long term. 15 years of making decisions based on their health and welfare. I have often spent more a month on their food, upkeep and medical care than I have on my own. I have to leave the ‘big’ questions, such as. ‘how am I going to provide for a cat over 15 years’ alone and know that I will be taken care of, just as I am always been taken care of. Steps of Faith come in furry little packages too 🙂

In other words…

After ranting on someone else’s blog at YouDopia I realized that I need a different word to explain my Spiritual leanings.

I am no longer Pagan, although that still fits in ways.

Hmmm… I guess that’s it…

A Reading…

For those of you who don’t know (I think both of you do, but I will pretend to a larger audience)

I do readings with Tarot cards. Robin Wood is my favorite deck.

I have been avoiding them… well, really it started out as a not thinking about it and then is devolved into not remembering where they are… then into a denial about using them. Like that friend that you enjoy but just have a hard time reconnecting with. My cards are blunt (as am I) but with out the problems of social interaction. But you know where they stand!

Anyway… so I thought I would cast my cards and see what they have to say…

Card 1: The current situation – 9 of Pentacles – solitary wealth and luxury
Card 2: That which crosses it – the reality behind the smile – The Fool – lighthearted; One seeking fulfillment and experience
Card 3: Distant past – 5 of cups – crying over spilt milk
Card 4: overall goal – 2 of rods – one who is looking for fulfillment; waiting for plans to take root
Card 5: the recent happenings – Justice – Fairness, Balance, Equality – things finally coming together – getting one’s due
Card 6: Immediate Future – 3 of cups; Fulfillment (noticing a trend?), healing, perhaps a party is in store
Card 7: Self Card – my place in it – 8 of pentacles – nose to the grindstone, learning, gaining new knowledge (definitely a trend)
Card 8: How my emotions effect the situation – knight on a pillar, youthful idealism nostalgia
Card 9: Hopes and fears around the situation. – the Hermit – taking time out of life for contemplation – the search for truth – wisdom
Card 10: Final outcome – Judgement – A change in position, rejuvenation, rebirth, Reward, acquiring a purpose, Atonement, paying the piper, accounting for one’s actions


I went and had a mammogram this last week. It made me feel older.

My work place is very interesting. A variety of very distinct and separate personalities. Jeremy, in his ceramics classes, learned that glazes won’t combine with out one specific ingredient. (I think it was carbon). This office seems to be that way… there isn’t a cohesion because there isn’t the one agent which can bind them together.

Humor seems to be that binder. I have been funnier in the last 2 weeks then ever. My Co-worker and I work well off each other. It makes me think faster… which is never a bad thing. I seem to be finding the right words more often which is nice. I don’t seem to get tongue tied as often.

I wonder why I am there… It’s odd that I take making people’s world better for granted… Of course I do… I wonder about my ego sometimes… But every thing is a Lesson and this has all the hallmarks of one of those Big Lessons… I can let go and be Led through the hard stuff or I can fight it and have my life fall into the dumpster in a Mother-fucking-New-York-Second. Older is often wiser. So I have my Baselines.

I will live my life happy.

I chose my attitude toward what comes at me. The best adventures are simply a crisis that makes a good story in the end. I can choose to laugh or to cry and I am done crying. There are very few things that are important enough to cry over anyway.

I will keep my life in perspective.

Things are good right now. Jeremy and I love and care for each other. I have a genuinely happy home. I have money in the bank and vet care for my animals. None of my bills are back due and we have yummy food in the house. And I have the best Husband in the world.

It will all be Fine.

Humanity can not destroy the Universe. All this is for the Greater Good – somehow. And I have to say that I am looking forward to getting some answers when I cross over. But I cling to the theory that Humanity is just a tiny Backwater of the Entirety of the Universe. We are Important in the Universe, just as every small spore of mold or blade of grass is important here in our reality. But how many of us know how many blades of grass there are in our respective lawns? And I know I have killed off more than my share of mold and mildew in my bathroom. So… I mourn for the pain and aggravation that is to ensue. I know that me and my kind are going to be the poor that get poorer and we will bare the brunt of the climate chaos that has begun to truly destroy our pretty little world. But I also hold to the theory that Momma Nature isn’t any more vindictive than the Universe is (being part and parcel) and that She is just going to work for a Balance. But we are so far out of Balance that we (as a species and a society) can’t survive like this if the World is Balanced. So we try to ignore it. It’s just that she will always have the Last Laugh. Washington may be fill of hot air but they can’t control Momma Nature yet. They can just piss Her off more.

wasn’t this about being older? Oh… I guess it was after all…